My title for this post comes from a quote from the lead singer of All Time Low, who I saw in concert in January.
I don't know why it makes me laugh so much, probably because there are a lot of people I'd like to 'bitch, please' right now. Quite a lot of them.
I'd really like it if the adults in my life stopped trying to take turns controlling my future. "Get married." "Wait ten years." "Don't have kids." "Have four kids." "Be this." "Be that." SHUT UP! I know that I am only sixteen and therefore 'naive' about a lot of things. But I am also an independent, smart girl who knows what she wants to do, when, and with who. So shut up and leave me alone. I'm not 12.

Liam: This guy and I share a birthday, and he's always really nice to me. When Christian's ex's boyfriend called me a loser bitch, he decided to go, "Have a little talk." with him. Liam is a big fluffy teddy bear that I am so happy to be friends with. He makes me smile when I'm down and whenever we get into little tiffs, they're easily resolved. Liam is the kind of guy who can make a sexual joke and not get smacked in the face over it. His hugs are the best hugs in the whole world ('sides Chris). He's one of the guys I am proud to call my friend and sort of 'big brother'.

My Chemical Romance broke up a few days ago. That makes me really sad because their music was always something I looked forward to hearing more of, and now there will be no more. I'm really upset about that. 

She scares me. She's absolutely gorgeous and funny and knows how to manipulate people. She and I used to be friends, though she'll deny ever being close now that she doesn't like me. I just wanted to stay her friend. I don't understand why she changed. But she did, for the worse. Everything is about her now.
She's cheated on so many people. I don't understand why she'd do such a thing and why so many times. I don't know what drives a person to be like that, but I do know that humans are capable of repentance and change; she just refuses to do anything about it anymore. I want to be her friend again. I do, I'm just so terrified of her. Terrified that he wants someone like her, even when he tells me he doesn't. But then I think about myself.
I don't want to be anything like her. I'm an emotional person and sometimes I'm nervous that he'll mistake my emotions for just being a bitch and he'll leave me. I'm afraid he'll think that my need for physical affection (I'm a natural snuggler) is me being a slut. I don't want him to think my need to verbally rant my thoughts is gossip or slander. I don't want  him to look at my clothes and think, "She's a whore." I don't want that.
I'm not like her...I swear...

Hey! I am so happy that I get to switch classes! Goodbye Spanish and hello Stagecraft! Not to mention my counselor is being super nice about everything! 
So other than that switch, tomorrow I hand in a job application at a coffee shop and a bookstore, but we're going dress shopping with my cousins and mom! Yay! I'm so excited. Then tomorrow night I have a date with my boyfriend, which will be so much fun on its own. He is such a sweetheart, and our eleven month is this next Tuesday.
Wednesday is the movie party at my church where we'll watch Avengers, Thor, and Captain America (seeing the theme?) and it will be so much fun! I am so glad.
HAVE A WONDERFUL SPRING BREAK!

Exams just finished, so next week is a whole new school experience. I'm excited as ever. But I need to get out of Spanish ASAP and start doing something useful. Maybe online Econ or something like that so I don't have to take it next year. Or maybe I'll just suffer through Spanish and be done with it. I'll probably go that route. I also need to get out of the torture chamber that is Mr. Wilson's Trig class and back into Mrs. Farmer's...who can at least teach. 
Auditions for Theatre 3 (Advanced Theatre) are Monday after school and I'm only slightly terrified to find out if I made it or not. I really hope that auditions go well and that I make it to Advanced Theatre, or at least higher up on the waiting list for it, that would be okay too.
Prom is coming up! Do you know what that means? I need to get a dress. Not just any dress, a floor-length dress. What do I do!? I am so nervous. Summer is sneaking up, along with graduation and prom too! AH! I'm stressed, I'll admit it. I don't want him to leave, but I do want him to succeed in life and get a good job that he'll enjoy. I want him to be happy. I need to go work on my monologue...bye!

This weekend my stepmom has been making some pretty rude remarks about me and I don't understand why. My dad and I usually quip back and forth about things but she said, "Gosh you're getting really snippy with your dad." I'm not trying to be snippy. I apologized and just went upstairs, like I usually do. They wonder why I stay upstairs most of the time...
I don't really fit in with either side of my family. My mom is way too pushy and perfectionist for me to be fully comfortable with myself around her, and my dad is too childish to be really serious about anything with me. I feel like I'm the adult and that's really not fair. I've already decided what I want to be when I grow up. My grandmother told me I shouldn't stay with Christian too long or settle down too young because I have too many opportunities. All I want is to have something neither of my parents ever gave to me: A home and a family. ONE HOME with ONE WIFE and ONE HUSBAND. Nobody divorcing or leaving anyone else. Just the love of someone who understands and cherishes you and the blessing of God over your household. Isn't that what everyone wants? I want my kids to grow up without a broken family. I want them to be able to pursue their interests and have friends over without being nervous about how their parents will treat that friend. I want to be a loving, accepting, and nurturing mother. Honestly, as hard as my parents tried, I ended up on my own, raising myself, a lot of the time. They wonder why I'm so mature. Alright, rant over.

So having finished my other book, I needed a new one. I also got myself an 'audition' with the book store people and may have a job there, if not at Moomers or Aromas. Besides all my various job applications, most of which end in miserable failure, I've been doing a lot of studying and reading in order to fully prepare for exams. My math exam paper is due on Wednesday and the second half will be done in class. I'm a little nervous about it, but overall not too scared. Hopefully I pass that class with some sort of grade (I couldn't care less what it is if I pass). And then next trimester I'm taking all core classes and Spanish (which I totally hate).
After exams, I forward to another fantastic viewing of West's musical production: Beauty and the Beast. My best friend since the fourth grade, David, is playing the Beast. That boy has such an amazing voice, dang. Sometimes David can be a bit confusing to me, so I tend to steer clear when possible. I do say hello to him when I feel like it though, because I miss him a bunch. Anyway, back to my boring life with me! See you lovelies whenevs.

I love getting new books. I like to read the back of it and find out all the exciting things that wait on the inside. I love discovering the characters and figuring out what they look like. What are their attitudes and how do they portray them physically? 
Plus, the new book I got (Steel by Carrie Vaughn) is about pirates, and I ADORE pirates. So yay for my new book. 
I'm also practicing my monologue for theatre three and REALLY hoping that I get in, since competition is fierce this year. Oh goodness. Anywho, I hope this goes well. Wish me luck!