An Irish Goodbye
No, I don't want to be your friend anymore
It's not really worth it.
Thank you, though, for the years we had
The "good old days"
But all good things come to an end
And most paths must go two directions
Like in the ancient Irish tales
When two weary travelers find themselves on the same road
And one turns out to be of the magic folk
I guess that was you
Giving me your advice and friendship
And when the time came, leaving
Parting ways and going down your own long road
With someone else
But that's just how life is
How it has been since those old stories were written
Thank you while it lasted, but I'm smiling
Even though you're gone
I guess I just finally realized...I didn't need you anyway
Goodbye, weary traveler
May the road rise to meet you
It's not really worth it.
Thank you, though, for the years we had
The "good old days"
But all good things come to an end
And most paths must go two directions
Like in the ancient Irish tales
When two weary travelers find themselves on the same road
And one turns out to be of the magic folk
I guess that was you
Giving me your advice and friendship
And when the time came, leaving
Parting ways and going down your own long road
With someone else
But that's just how life is
How it has been since those old stories were written
Thank you while it lasted, but I'm smiling
Even though you're gone
I guess I just finally realized...I didn't need you anyway
Goodbye, weary traveler
May the road rise to meet you
Reoccurring Nightmare
Breathe in, breathe out
What are you talking about
What do you mean
You want to leave?
Say you're lying
Hold me while I'm crying
What do you mean
You don't love me?
Curl up, feel dead
Is it all just in my head
What do you mean
That you don't believe?
Hold on so tight
Please don't leave tonight
What do you mean
It's just routine?
In creeps the dark
Where is the old spark
What do you mean
When you say goodbye?
What are you talking about
What do you mean
You want to leave?
Say you're lying
Hold me while I'm crying
What do you mean
You don't love me?
Curl up, feel dead
Is it all just in my head
What do you mean
That you don't believe?
Hold on so tight
Please don't leave tonight
What do you mean
It's just routine?
In creeps the dark
Where is the old spark
What do you mean
When you say goodbye?
Nicotine
It's offered so offhandedly
A casual sin
I cannot refuse the second time around
After a puff or two the first
So difficult to hide this from myself
And it's much easier
To hide his scent
And bruises under my clothes
The way his hands linger on me
And how he feels against my skin are
Easy enough to hide away
But the smell of this
Lingers on in me
On the outside
On my fingers and my lips
The lovely scent of nicotine
And it burns the back of my sorry throat
That's talked the night away
Debating our lives and thoughts
Why guys think girls don't like sex
Why girls wish guys were better at it
Why I'm still a virgin
And his blue-haired Catholic girlfriend
Religion doesn't suit us well
Hypocrites and demigods alike
Afterwords we have mint gum
Before that we had milkshakes
With a shot of coffee
And sarcasm
It tasted like his ex-girlfriend's attitude
With caramel
We talked about the Beatles
Mostly John Lennon
He died first
I think Ringo had him murdered
Cause no one ever loved the drummer
But they were all on LSD
I'm much happier with my
Problems solved by the offhand nicotine
From his jacket pocket
My boyfriend's best friend
Gave me something new to try
That wasn't hurting myself on the outside
Hiding it is harder
Than hiding my boyfriend's lustful touches
And easier than disguising
The touch of my razor in the sad nights spent alone
Before I had love to stop my bloodloss
But what do I do now with all my love for
The glowing feeling of
A curling cloud of smoke and the taste of
Nicotine
A casual sin
I cannot refuse the second time around
After a puff or two the first
So difficult to hide this from myself
And it's much easier
To hide his scent
And bruises under my clothes
The way his hands linger on me
And how he feels against my skin are
Easy enough to hide away
But the smell of this
Lingers on in me
On the outside
On my fingers and my lips
The lovely scent of nicotine
And it burns the back of my sorry throat
That's talked the night away
Debating our lives and thoughts
Why guys think girls don't like sex
Why girls wish guys were better at it
Why I'm still a virgin
And his blue-haired Catholic girlfriend
Religion doesn't suit us well
Hypocrites and demigods alike
Afterwords we have mint gum
Before that we had milkshakes
With a shot of coffee
And sarcasm
It tasted like his ex-girlfriend's attitude
With caramel
We talked about the Beatles
Mostly John Lennon
He died first
I think Ringo had him murdered
Cause no one ever loved the drummer
But they were all on LSD
I'm much happier with my
Problems solved by the offhand nicotine
From his jacket pocket
My boyfriend's best friend
Gave me something new to try
That wasn't hurting myself on the outside
Hiding it is harder
Than hiding my boyfriend's lustful touches
And easier than disguising
The touch of my razor in the sad nights spent alone
Before I had love to stop my bloodloss
But what do I do now with all my love for
The glowing feeling of
A curling cloud of smoke and the taste of
Nicotine
Brown Eyes
It's been a long time since we've talked
I mean, actually had a conversation
Your eyes are still beautiful
The most gorgeous shade of brown I've ever seen
I can't say I missed you
I didn't
Or the things you do to me
Those are for my boyfriend, now
But you still do them anyway, asshole
I feel my heartbeat racing
You picked me up in your strong arms
Flung me and my emotions around in a circle
Said hello like it was nothing
I can't stand it
You weren't supposed to do this
Not to me, of all people
The perfect girlfriend with the perfect boyfriend
In perfect love together, just like the storybooks
And you came along again
With your beautiful brown eyes
And your dancing shoes
And your deep, but childish, laugh
I wasn't supposed to remember
What love felt like with you
Being pushed aside constantly
This bitter taste in my mouth...
Like Swiss-Cake Rolls and swing sets
And five years of agony at your hands because
You liked all the other girls
And not me but I was the one who cared the most
I loved you
I love you still
And it hurts me to admit that these feelings still exist in me
But such is life
Life with you in it is always interesting
Because I'm just Ophelia in this tragedy
Get me to a nunnery
With my perfect love and happiness
Swallowed again by your very beautiful presence
With your armful of memories
Your game of Pokemon
You thinking it was great fun to poke me under the table
And get away with it, you big jerk
Because I was the girl you toyed with
When no one else was around to entertain you
And tell you that you're wonderful
I did that
I didn't know how much it would hurt later
Because just then, you liked me
You smiled at me
With that perfect, giddy, boyish smile
And all your charming words and affection
And your perfect brown eyes
Damn those
Beautiful, captivating, wonderful, lovely, perfect
Brown eyes
I mean, actually had a conversation
Your eyes are still beautiful
The most gorgeous shade of brown I've ever seen
I can't say I missed you
I didn't
Or the things you do to me
Those are for my boyfriend, now
But you still do them anyway, asshole
I feel my heartbeat racing
You picked me up in your strong arms
Flung me and my emotions around in a circle
Said hello like it was nothing
I can't stand it
You weren't supposed to do this
Not to me, of all people
The perfect girlfriend with the perfect boyfriend
In perfect love together, just like the storybooks
And you came along again
With your beautiful brown eyes
And your dancing shoes
And your deep, but childish, laugh
I wasn't supposed to remember
What love felt like with you
Being pushed aside constantly
This bitter taste in my mouth...
Like Swiss-Cake Rolls and swing sets
And five years of agony at your hands because
You liked all the other girls
And not me but I was the one who cared the most
I loved you
I love you still
And it hurts me to admit that these feelings still exist in me
But such is life
Life with you in it is always interesting
Because I'm just Ophelia in this tragedy
Get me to a nunnery
With my perfect love and happiness
Swallowed again by your very beautiful presence
With your armful of memories
Your game of Pokemon
You thinking it was great fun to poke me under the table
And get away with it, you big jerk
Because I was the girl you toyed with
When no one else was around to entertain you
And tell you that you're wonderful
I did that
I didn't know how much it would hurt later
Because just then, you liked me
You smiled at me
With that perfect, giddy, boyish smile
And all your charming words and affection
And your perfect brown eyes
Damn those
Beautiful, captivating, wonderful, lovely, perfect
Brown eyes
You're Your Own Antidote
You make me so upset
But then you swoop on in
And you save the day
It drives me crazy
The way you smile at me
Makes my whole world okay
But then you get me angry
It drives me mad
You're your very own antidote
You make it all okay
I guess it'll be alright
Calm me down again
But then you swoop on in
And you save the day
It drives me crazy
The way you smile at me
Makes my whole world okay
But then you get me angry
It drives me mad
You're your very own antidote
You make it all okay
I guess it'll be alright
Calm me down again
Facebook Suicide
If I die for fame
To get instant glory
Won't you spread my name
And perfect my story?
Suicidal sighs
And youtube decisions
No one dies these days
Instagram incisions
Today is the day
Where society
Tells the kids that kill
That they can run free
And the ones that die
Always do it glad
Because they'll get likes
Even when they're dead
To get instant glory
Won't you spread my name
And perfect my story?
Suicidal sighs
And youtube decisions
No one dies these days
Instagram incisions
Today is the day
Where society
Tells the kids that kill
That they can run free
And the ones that die
Always do it glad
Because they'll get likes
Even when they're dead
never boy
Our lips touch and I can't breathe
I'm caught up in a whirlwind
My eyes are streaming with tears
As the world moves along
And here you are with your arms
Safely around my waist
Holding me down to earth
As we speed through heaven
Through the stars we move
With trails of pixie dust
And your hair is shining dully
In the light of the nighttime city
I can feel you breathing
As we chase the moonbeams
Through the spring treetops
And I'm still safe against you
Nothing can top this feeling
Of being always with you and
Never giving up on youth
We won't ever need to grow up
Because you are my never boy
And I'm just sitting here
Laughing as you fly in circles
Showing me what love is
Content we rest at last
Gazing up at twinkling stars
That tell us a bedtime story
As you trace my heartbeat
The grass is cool at night
And I'm already sleeping
You fly in through my window
To put me in bed
I'll wake up in the morning
Thinking it was a dream
And see you at school again
You are my never boy
I'm caught up in a whirlwind
My eyes are streaming with tears
As the world moves along
And here you are with your arms
Safely around my waist
Holding me down to earth
As we speed through heaven
Through the stars we move
With trails of pixie dust
And your hair is shining dully
In the light of the nighttime city
I can feel you breathing
As we chase the moonbeams
Through the spring treetops
And I'm still safe against you
Nothing can top this feeling
Of being always with you and
Never giving up on youth
We won't ever need to grow up
Because you are my never boy
And I'm just sitting here
Laughing as you fly in circles
Showing me what love is
Content we rest at last
Gazing up at twinkling stars
That tell us a bedtime story
As you trace my heartbeat
The grass is cool at night
And I'm already sleeping
You fly in through my window
To put me in bed
I'll wake up in the morning
Thinking it was a dream
And see you at school again
You are my never boy
I'm an Inferno
I'm burning down,
An inferno in the darkness.
Do you see me?
Do you hear my screams?
I'm lighting up,
I will guide you through the furnace.
Heartbeat so loud.
You seem so quiet, lovely.
I'm curling smoke;
A choking pillar in the night sky.
Do you hear me call?
Does it even matter to you?
I am a flame,
Drawing you, a moth to candle.
You seem so tired,
But you are still so alive.
I'm an ember.
I feel the heat inside me.
Can you see me?
Can you feel my inner warmth?
I am kindling,
Laid out in solemn silence.
Soon fires will rage
And I will be their small beginning.
I'm flint and steel,
You strike my heart to yours and
Do you hear me cry?
Do you see the sparks you're causing?
An inferno in the darkness.
Do you see me?
Do you hear my screams?
I'm lighting up,
I will guide you through the furnace.
Heartbeat so loud.
You seem so quiet, lovely.
I'm curling smoke;
A choking pillar in the night sky.
Do you hear me call?
Does it even matter to you?
I am a flame,
Drawing you, a moth to candle.
You seem so tired,
But you are still so alive.
I'm an ember.
I feel the heat inside me.
Can you see me?
Can you feel my inner warmth?
I am kindling,
Laid out in solemn silence.
Soon fires will rage
And I will be their small beginning.
I'm flint and steel,
You strike my heart to yours and
Do you hear me cry?
Do you see the sparks you're causing?
My Deadly Romance
That man's a genius with a gun in his hands
He sees the people rising up in the stands
And just one shot could bring the world to its knees
But will he take this shot or answer the pleas
That girl's a liar with no heart in her chest
She drains our love of blood and still tries her best
To stop the world from turning on in its haste
She doesn't want it all she just wants a taste
The bloody knife I hold is nothing but fear
You promised everything and called me your dear
But now I see your eyes and they are so cold
I tried to tell you but your heart had been sold
I didn't mean to murder you my one love
But now that I have I look on from above
And see the people screaming down there below
They run in circles with their children in tow
And as I raise the gun again to my head
I'm still so sorry that you ended up dead
It's not my fault I really didn't mean harm
And now my heart will match the scars on my arm
He sees the people rising up in the stands
And just one shot could bring the world to its knees
But will he take this shot or answer the pleas
That girl's a liar with no heart in her chest
She drains our love of blood and still tries her best
To stop the world from turning on in its haste
She doesn't want it all she just wants a taste
The bloody knife I hold is nothing but fear
You promised everything and called me your dear
But now I see your eyes and they are so cold
I tried to tell you but your heart had been sold
I didn't mean to murder you my one love
But now that I have I look on from above
And see the people screaming down there below
They run in circles with their children in tow
And as I raise the gun again to my head
I'm still so sorry that you ended up dead
It's not my fault I really didn't mean harm
And now my heart will match the scars on my arm
The Line for the Damned
And so I sat there looking
To be stereotyped
All these Facebook suicides
Begging for YouTube hype
And the internet bullies
Are all falling for lines
I'm realizing that I'll be alright
I'm not going to fight
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
So long as they are not me
And I am still here with you
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
They are just missing out
On a chance that they blew
And so I sit here waiting
In the line for the damned
All these drama junkies
Hit the ground and get slammed
They just cannot handle
The fact I'll be okay
So they sit there plotting
As their brains are rotting
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
So long as they are not me
And I am still here with you
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
They are just missing out
On a chance that they blew
And I stand there screaming
As my life fades away
There's no hero this time
No one to come save the day
And the kids on the streets
Type the words on their phones
I'm going to be fine
At the front of the line
For the damned
To be stereotyped
All these Facebook suicides
Begging for YouTube hype
And the internet bullies
Are all falling for lines
I'm realizing that I'll be alright
I'm not going to fight
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
So long as they are not me
And I am still here with you
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
They are just missing out
On a chance that they blew
And so I sit here waiting
In the line for the damned
All these drama junkies
Hit the ground and get slammed
They just cannot handle
The fact I'll be okay
So they sit there plotting
As their brains are rotting
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
So long as they are not me
And I am still here with you
I don't care what they say
I don't mind what they do
They are just missing out
On a chance that they blew
And I stand there screaming
As my life fades away
There's no hero this time
No one to come save the day
And the kids on the streets
Type the words on their phones
I'm going to be fine
At the front of the line
For the damned
These Meaningless Dreams
I had a dream the doctors told me I was dying
I had a dream the doctors told me, “Give up hope.”
In thirty seconds as their words sank in I tried to learn to cope
I had a dream the teacher told me I was failing
I had a dream the teacher told me, “Just don't try.”
But all she did was challenge me and the fact that I'd get by
I had a dream my lover told me he was leaving
I had a dream my lover told me, “I am done.”
But I realized that some flowers can grow without the sun
I had a dream my friends all left me for another
I had a dream my friends all told me, “Go away.”
In the hurt I felt from that I learned to live another day
I had a dream my children moved and left me lonely
I had a dream my children told me, “You're too old.”
But I also had a dream they never did what they were told
When I woke up I saw that those dreams had been pointless
When I woke up I saw that I would be just fine
Because when I'm awake I know I'm young, the world is mine
I had a dream the doctors told me, “Give up hope.”
In thirty seconds as their words sank in I tried to learn to cope
I had a dream the teacher told me I was failing
I had a dream the teacher told me, “Just don't try.”
But all she did was challenge me and the fact that I'd get by
I had a dream my lover told me he was leaving
I had a dream my lover told me, “I am done.”
But I realized that some flowers can grow without the sun
I had a dream my friends all left me for another
I had a dream my friends all told me, “Go away.”
In the hurt I felt from that I learned to live another day
I had a dream my children moved and left me lonely
I had a dream my children told me, “You're too old.”
But I also had a dream they never did what they were told
When I woke up I saw that those dreams had been pointless
When I woke up I saw that I would be just fine
Because when I'm awake I know I'm young, the world is mine
A Bedtime Story
You call him your boy
You're holding him close
Your promise to him
Is to never let go
It's crazy to see
But such a good sight
That you're his princess
And he's your dark knight
So someday when you
Are old and quite gray
You'll smile at him
Remember the day
When he said hello
If ever so shy
You smiled right back
The feelings won't die
I'm happy to see
The smile on his face
It's there in your heart
Where the story takes place
You're holding him close
Your promise to him
Is to never let go
It's crazy to see
But such a good sight
That you're his princess
And he's your dark knight
So someday when you
Are old and quite gray
You'll smile at him
Remember the day
When he said hello
If ever so shy
You smiled right back
The feelings won't die
I'm happy to see
The smile on his face
It's there in your heart
Where the story takes place
For
It's cold outside
The snowfall is seemingly over
For now
Just for now
It's warm right here
And the blanket's waiting dear
For you
Just for you
Your arms are strong
And they always feel so safe
For me
Just for me
There is sunshine
And it seems to have returned
For us
Just for us
And no one judges
They just sit and smile silently
For us
Just for us
The snowfall is seemingly over
For now
Just for now
It's warm right here
And the blanket's waiting dear
For you
Just for you
Your arms are strong
And they always feel so safe
For me
Just for me
There is sunshine
And it seems to have returned
For us
Just for us
And no one judges
They just sit and smile silently
For us
Just for us
Welcome to the Freakshow
A song I wrote about a circus. Just for fun, but kind of dark and a little bit creepy. :)
Almost Enough
I've practiced
Trained for years
Journey continuously
In an effort to succeed
Defeated others
Been defeated
Only to stand victorious
To continue on
I am the very best
Creating a legend
Making and losing friends
With the seasons
The challenge ahead
Is faced by many
Won by few
But I'm so very close
My strength grows
As do they
I am a champion
Ready for my final test
I almost have enough badges
(Yes, this poem is about Pokemon)
Trained for years
Journey continuously
In an effort to succeed
Defeated others
Been defeated
Only to stand victorious
To continue on
I am the very best
Creating a legend
Making and losing friends
With the seasons
The challenge ahead
Is faced by many
Won by few
But I'm so very close
My strength grows
As do they
I am a champion
Ready for my final test
I almost have enough badges
(Yes, this poem is about Pokemon)
In The After
Her eyes wander out of the window
Her mind is still safe in the past
Reliving the happiest memories
From a time that was too good to last
Another is holding his hand now
Another walks by on his arm
She knows that those arms offer comfort
And promise to keep you from harm
He smiles at her seeming happy
He smiles and kisses her nose
And deep in her heart it is growing
A feeling that she rarely shows
There's something about her that's charming
There's always the chance they could fly
Yet sadly he moves at a distance
She always wants to ask him why
Deep in her mind she is suffering
Deep in his heart he's alone
Wishing he'd said something different
Begging for love being shown
Soon they'll forget all that happened
Soon they won't even say, "Hi."
Both gone in different directions
Wishing the love didn't die
Her mind is still safe in the past
Reliving the happiest memories
From a time that was too good to last
Another is holding his hand now
Another walks by on his arm
She knows that those arms offer comfort
And promise to keep you from harm
He smiles at her seeming happy
He smiles and kisses her nose
And deep in her heart it is growing
A feeling that she rarely shows
There's something about her that's charming
There's always the chance they could fly
Yet sadly he moves at a distance
She always wants to ask him why
Deep in her mind she is suffering
Deep in his heart he's alone
Wishing he'd said something different
Begging for love being shown
Soon they'll forget all that happened
Soon they won't even say, "Hi."
Both gone in different directions
Wishing the love didn't die
Atlas Girl
These are the confessions I want to forget
Things he told me
Putting his world
My world on my back
I am bowed under this weight
It burns like fire to touch
To carry
I can't fall
Or merely even stumble
For if I do the precious burden that's killing me
Will fall and
Shatter
Below it all
Beneath the disappointment
I love him still
Maybe even more
Lost in thought with no map
Heart screaming in agony
Kneeling and bearing the pain
My mind conjures images to hurt me
It gets heavier
With every doubt I have
I try to forget sometimes
Lighten the load
Beg for his forgiveness in his stead
I buckle
Finally giving up because
His confessions are crushing me
Things he told me
Putting his world
My world on my back
I am bowed under this weight
It burns like fire to touch
To carry
I can't fall
Or merely even stumble
For if I do the precious burden that's killing me
Will fall and
Shatter
Below it all
Beneath the disappointment
I love him still
Maybe even more
Lost in thought with no map
Heart screaming in agony
Kneeling and bearing the pain
My mind conjures images to hurt me
It gets heavier
With every doubt I have
I try to forget sometimes
Lighten the load
Beg for his forgiveness in his stead
I buckle
Finally giving up because
His confessions are crushing me
My Boyfriend's Ex-Girlfriend's Boyfriend
I haven't really seen him since the second grade
And we talked the other day about the games that we played
And the people that we knew were all the same in our heads
So we talked about the past and memories long-dead
But I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore, oh no
For it's her he can't stand to offend
No I can't talk to him anymore
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's boyfriend
She doesn't say a lot to me or to my friends at all
But she talks about me and I hear the whispers in the hall
Yet somehow as we're not really friends or enemies
If glares could turn you to ice we all would freeze
I guess I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore, oh no
For it's her he can't stand to offend
No I can't talk to him anymore
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's boyfriend
We were talking the other day in the cold windy night
About how our rides were late in the yellow church light
He gave me his number and told me to text him later
But apparently she came around and said, “I hate her.”
So I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore, oh no
For it's her he can't stand to offend
No I can't talk to him anymore
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's boyfriend
And we talked the other day about the games that we played
And the people that we knew were all the same in our heads
So we talked about the past and memories long-dead
But I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore, oh no
For it's her he can't stand to offend
No I can't talk to him anymore
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's boyfriend
She doesn't say a lot to me or to my friends at all
But she talks about me and I hear the whispers in the hall
Yet somehow as we're not really friends or enemies
If glares could turn you to ice we all would freeze
I guess I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore, oh no
For it's her he can't stand to offend
No I can't talk to him anymore
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's boyfriend
We were talking the other day in the cold windy night
About how our rides were late in the yellow church light
He gave me his number and told me to text him later
But apparently she came around and said, “I hate her.”
So I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore, oh no
For it's her he can't stand to offend
No I can't talk to him anymore
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's boyfriend
She is Just a Pronoun
She takes the world on a ride
With the look in her eyes
She doesn't tell you but
At night she sits at home and she cries
She wants the world
But it burns her alive
So she wonders when the end
Will come and bring her a sign
She's hit the walls
And she screams as she realizes
That when she falls no one's there
She may as well be dead
But sometimes at night she dreams
She won't forget what they did
But she holds out her hand
To accept her own end
Don't speak to this girl
She's got a dangerous streak
If you try to get too close you
Will find out you're weak
And you can't handle her
Or the lies she'll whisper
Maybe she'll sing a song
And prove you wrong
So as she falls asleep
And in the darkness will creep
You'll find a way to flee
And never ever come back for me
With the look in her eyes
She doesn't tell you but
At night she sits at home and she cries
She wants the world
But it burns her alive
So she wonders when the end
Will come and bring her a sign
She's hit the walls
And she screams as she realizes
That when she falls no one's there
She may as well be dead
But sometimes at night she dreams
She won't forget what they did
But she holds out her hand
To accept her own end
Don't speak to this girl
She's got a dangerous streak
If you try to get too close you
Will find out you're weak
And you can't handle her
Or the lies she'll whisper
Maybe she'll sing a song
And prove you wrong
So as she falls asleep
And in the darkness will creep
You'll find a way to flee
And never ever come back for me
Odds and Ends
You're an odd end
To a new start
With a great smile
And a free heart
You're a new hope
To an old wish
With a big love
And a soft kiss
To a new start
With a great smile
And a free heart
You're a new hope
To an old wish
With a big love
And a soft kiss